Maruchan Roast Chicken vs. Sapporo Ichiban Original

We’re down to the championship game. Sapporo Ichiban Original gets the tip off. Sapporo Ichiban Original plays deliberately and slowly. They like to set a slow-paced game with their subtler flavor. As before, their uniqueness lies in their blended taste. If you have to put a label to it, it would be something like miso-shoyu. Maruchan Roast Chicken, on the other hand, picks up the pace every time they have the ball. They are roast chicken without a doubt. But they announce this respectfully, without an “in-your-face” attitude. Some of the other schools try to be showy, and eagerly slam dunk when given half a chance. Maruchan Roast Chicken, though, plays steadily, like the disciplined team that they are.

Beyond the miso-shoyu of Sapporo Ichiban Original (SIO) and the roasted chicken of Maruchan’s namesake team (MRC), both teams bring supporting flavors. SIO has their onion and white pepper supporters, while MRC’s celery/herb flavor cheers loudly, next to a smaller spicy-black pepper cheering section. SIO also has a few scattered onion bits on the bench, but they usually don’t see much action.

By the fourth quarter, SIO’s rowdy MSG fans are starting to get a little out of hand. MRC also has some MSG fans on their side, but they’re more subdued and not as noticeable. By the last few minutes of the game, the two teams are even comparing noodles. Both teams have very similar tasting noodles, that’s to say, on the bland side. Both noodles are also similarly textured, but SIO’s noodles started off just a bit chewier and ended up just a touch softer.

It’s been an incredible run. Both SIO and MRC are strong competitors with very different approaches to the game. SIO’s tactics have been based on having varied flavors combined to become an “Original” flavor. MRC, on the other hand, focuses on being true to their name and presents itself as Roast Chicken…nothing more, nothing less. It’s close! The game ends with the final score:
Sapporo Ichiban Original: 6.0
Maruchan Roast Chicken: 6.5!

And Maruchan Roast Chicken is the champion!!!

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Whew! We’ve come a long way from the original 16. We’re down to the championship match, which will take place tomorrow night. Meanwhile, here’s a bracket view of the results so far. (Click on the bracket for a full-sized version.)

So does anyone have any money riding on this?

9:23pm: oops, I have the wrong ramen showing on the final 4 and championship…
9:29pm: ok fixed!

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Maruchan Roast Chicken vs. Maruchan Roast Beef

We’re down to the final four, and it’s the battle of the Maruchan roast meats! The referees are drooling in anticipation. Maruchan Roast Beef puts its best beefy foot forward. Their soup could probably be used for an au jus sauce. Mmm…I’d dip my roast beef sandwich in this. Maruchan Roast Chicken goes for nuance and balance. It’s like a light chicken soup with a touch of celery salt flavoring. They’re both quite good for a brick ramen, but Maruchan Roast Chicken’s slightly more sophisticated taste is moving on to the final two!

Top Ramen Chicken vs. Sapporo Ichiban Original

Chicken seems to be the dominant force in this tournament. Can Top Ramen Chicken make it a “chicken championship”? Top Ramen Chicken has a more straightforward-chicken-soup broth and also has that distinct celery flavor. Sapporo Ichiban Original, on the other hand, is…well, original. It’s mildly onion-y, mildly white-pepper-y, mildly shoyu-y, and mildly miso-y. Both of these contenders are tasty, and Top Ramen Chicken and Sapporo Ichiban Original are battling neck and neck to go on to the championship. If Top Ramen Chicken was just a bit less salty, they might’ve beaten their opponent, but Sapporo Ichiban Original wins this round!

Losing team scores:
Maruchan Roast Beef: 6/10
Top Ramen Chicken: 6/10

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Sapporo Ichiban Beef vs. Sapporo Ichiban Original

There’ve been some interesting match-ups in this tournament, and this is no exception. The two darkhorses are battling it out this round. Both teams try to use their Sapporo Ichiban-ness against their opponent, and they just end up cancelling each other out. The two teams are almost identically matched: Sapporo Ichiban Beef’s pronounced beef-extract/powder flavor vs. Sapporo Ichiban Original’s more subtle, mellow flavor. It’s another overtime game! But it looks like Sapporo Ichiban Beef doesn’t have the endurance…its MSG quotient, not very noticeable at first, accumulates and creeps up, slowing them down. After a grueling game, Sapporo Ichiban Original wins in OT!

Top Ramen Chili vs. Maruchan Roast Beef

The last game of this round pits top-seeded Top Ramen Chili against Maruchan Roast Beef. While both teams have a bbq component to their flavors, Top Ramen Chili also brings a certain spicy, savory flavor to the table, with a touch of paprika taste. Tasty. But that’s just barely enough against Maruchan Roast Beef, with actual beef bits in the soup (or did it just not dissolve all the way?). Its beefiness just edges out Top Ramen Chili’s chili-ness and Maruchchan Roast Beef is going to the Final Four!

Losing team scores:
Sapporo Ichiban Beef: 6/10
Top Ramen Chili: 5.5/10

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Maruchan Creamy Chicken vs. Top Ramen Chicken

It’s Chicken vs. Chicken! Maruchan vs. Top Ramen! Top Ramen Chicken has a more concentrated chicken flavor than Maruchan Creamy Chicken, and edges ahead by the third quarter. Maruchan Creamy Chicken’s distinct celery flavor and smell tries to make up for their lighter flavor, but they just can’t seem to catch up. Even though Top Ramen Chicken is a bit on the salty side, they prove to be the better team. Top Ramen Chicken will move on to the final four!

Maruchan Roast Chicken vs. Maruchan Chicken

It’s another Chicken vs. Chicken battle, and this time, it’s also Maruchan vs. Maruchan! What should’ve been a battle royale has turned into a sort of identity crisis for the Chickens Maruchan. Why does Maruchan Chicken taste like some sort of celery curry? And even though Maruchan Roast Chicken actually tastes less “chicken-y” than Maruchan Chicken, Maruchan Chicken’s curry-ness just overwhelms any residual chicken flavor it might have. While the judges are scratching their heads in confusing, Maruchan Roast Chicken presses on, stealing the ball left and right and making 3-pointers like nobody’s business. Maruchan Roast Chicken easily defeats Maruchan Chicken!

Losing team scores:
Maruchan Creamy Chicken: 5.5/10
Maruchan Chicken: 5/10

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Maruchan Shrimp vs. Sapporo Ichiban Beef

Ah, the sea. Smell the salty sea air and feel the refreshing ocean breeze. Maruchan Shrimp has captured that saltwatery-shio taste. And there’s also a slight seafood smell and taste. But where’s the shrimp flavor? It’s just barely there. But it’s tasty. Sapporo Ichiban Beef tries to wrap their chewy, almost-sticky noodles around the competition without much success. And while the Maruchan Shrimp team plays as though they’re spending a nice relaxing day at the beach, Sapporo Ichiban Beef learns that the Maruchan Shrimps are no pushovers. It takes everything they’ve got, but finally, with the help of 3, count ‘em, 3 almost-microscopic negi flakes, Sapporo Ichiban Beef’s beefy bouillion soup just barely manages to overcome the Shrimps. Sapporo Ichiban Beef moves on to the next round!

Top Ramen Picante Beef vs. Sapporo Ichiban Original

Top Ramen tries to spice things up a bit with a Picante Beef flavor. The first foul is called when they try to sprinkle finely ground red chili peppers on the ball, causing half the Sapporo Ichiban Original team to have coughing fits. Actually, the chili pepper flavor isn’t very strong, but it does liven up Top Ramen Picante Beef’s somewhat watery beef taste. Undeterred by the chili peppers, Sapporo Ichiban Original pours on the offense, with their distinctive “Sapporo Ichiban-ness.” Both are tasty, but there can only be one…and that one is…Sapporo Ichiban Original!

Losing team scores:
Maruchan Shrimp: 5.5/10
Top Ramen Picante Beef: 5.5/10

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…they met behind the bleachers for their secret rendezvous. Their hungry mouths met passionately. A smell of hot tonkotsu lingered in the air. Oh, Maruchan! Your soup … it’s so wet! And your noodles…oh! They’re so slippery! Tear open your flavor packet now! —

Sorry, April Fools! We now return to your regularly scheduled program…

Maruchan Creamy Chicken vs. Maruchan Beef

Both Maruchan’s identical doughy noodles are evenly matched, but Maruchan Beef’s soup seems watery. It’s a watery beef broth that seems to have less of a MSG aftertaste but still more of a beefy flavor than Top Ramen Beef, which doesn’t help it this round. Maruchan Creamy Chicken isn’t that much better. Their chicken flavor is more of an aftertaste than the main focus. It’s also slightly watery, but still better than Maruchan Beef. Both schools are playing a defensive game, and both sides are taking their sweet time to score. In the end, it came down to the rebounds, and Maruchan Creamy Chicken had the the upper hand. Maruchan Creamy Chicken for the win!

Maruchan Oriental vs. Top Ramen Chicken

Maruchan Oriental suffers a mild injury in the first half with a distinctive ginger-like smell in the soup. Why does the soup smell like ginger? Top Ramen Chicken takes advantage and counters with a celery flavor in their soup. Maruchan Oriental was able to walk off the injury and continue the game, but it’s basic mild shoyu flavor with a slight hint of beef just couldn’t handle Top Ramen Chicken’s concentrated chicken flavor. Maruchan Oriental’s run-of-the-mill performance may not be a big detriment in the regular season, but it’s not going to get them very far in a tournament. Top Ramen Chicken wins!

Losing team scores:
Maruchan Beef: 4/10
Maruchan Oriental: 5/10

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Maruchan Chili vs. Top Ramen Chili

It’s another exciting Maruchan vs. Top Ramen matchup…Chili vs Chili! First of all, to anyone who’s never tried the chili flavor: look at the packaging with the chili peppers and the flames. Raise your hand: how many people think this is simply a spicy version of the instant ramen? (Raised hand). Now raise your hand if, when you read “chili,” you thought of chili as in “chili beans” and “chili cookoff”? (My hand is lowered) Yes, these actually taste like both: spicy chili. Top Ramen takes a 2 pt lead by half-time with their slightly more bbq flavored chili. Maruchan’s not giving anything up, and fights back with their slightly more tangy flavor. It’s a close game! These two teams are really evenly matched. And oh! It goes into overtime! Top Ramen throws down the gauntlet with its stronger chili (pepper, this time) flavor. Maruchan is just a bit spicy, but Top Ramen is spicier. Maruchan Chili made a great effort but Top Ramen Chili squeaks by with the winning shot at the buzzer! What a game!

Maruchan Roast Beef vs Top Ramen Shrimp

Wow, Top Ramen Shrimp just can’t seem to hold on the the ball. Maruchan Roast Beef is running circles around them with their superior beef bouillon soup. Their uniforms have their school motto “Rich Taste” and they’re sure living up to it. Top Ramen Shrimp, on the other hand, is briny and light, with an herbal something component that tastes a bit like cilantro salt. To add insult to injury, their undercooked noodles put the nail in the coffin. I’ve never seen noodles make a big difference in these competitions before, folks. Usually, all the instant ramen noodles taste pretty much the same. I guess it just goes to show how far this school has fallen. Maruchan Roast Beef blows away their competition!

Losing team scores:
Maruchan Chili: 5.5/10
Top Ramen Shrimp: 3/10

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Top Ramen Oriental vs Maruchan Roast Chicken

Round 1…fight!

Maruchan gets the early advantage, confounding Top Ramen by asking them the age old question: just what *is* “oriental” flavor? While Top Ramen Oriental fumbles with an answer and plays a defensive game with their slightly watery, and mildly shoyu-esque-but-not-really flavor, Maruchan Roast Chicken jumps ahead with its “dark roast” chicken soup taste. Top Ramen Oriental battles with their taste of dried onion powder and 3mm specks of green onion but just can’t catch a break with their just-average performance. Maruchan Roast Chicken wins this round!

Maruchan Chicken vs Top Ramen Beef

It’s Maruchan vs Top Ramen again! Top Ramen tries to gain an early advantage with an MSG bite on the tip of the tongue, but Maruchan Chicken just scoffs it off. However, neither team is playing particularly well. Top Ramen Beef’s soup is not particularly beefy, tasting more like their Oriental flavor with just a dash of added beef flavor. Maruchan Chicken, on the other hand, runs circles around Top Ramen, sprinkling celery and curry powder around them for some reason. Top Ramen just can’t handle it. Maruchan wins again!

Losing team scores:
Top Ramen Oriental: 5/10
Top Ramen Beef: 4/10

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Ah, spring. Time for flowers to bloom, little birdies chirping, and brighter, longer days. Time for college basketball…and RAMEN! Prompted by the idea of saving up for a $110 bowl of ramen and the stereotype that college students and instant ramen go hand in hand (and these days, who doesn’t have the budget of a “starving college student”?), we present our very own Instant Ramen Final Four!

We have three major rivals, each with their own contenders for the championship title. Let’s meet them:

Top Ramen. The original. The innovator. Nissin Foods, maker of Top Ramen, was founded by Momofuku Ando, the inventor of instant ramen, in 1948 and introduced Top Ramen to the U.S. in 1970. They are the oldest producer of instant ramen in the world. Does this powerhouse still have what it takes to make it all the way?

Maruchan. This upstart opened their first U.S. plant in 1978 in Irvine, CA, where they’re still located. They compete head-on with Top Ramen, and in 1994, became America’s best selling instant ramen. Today, they produce 3.6 billion packages a year, enough to reach from Earth to Mars and back if you string all the noodles together. NASA, are you listening? Who needs a space elevator? We can attach satellites to strung-together instant noodles!

Sapporo Ichiban. Sapporo Ichiban is the dark horse of the instant ramen world. There’re usually only one or two flavors of Sapporo Ichiban instant ramen available, but they’re sold just about everywhere you look. Top Ramen and Maruchan get the supermarket shelf space, and Sapporo Ichiban lurks in the background. They’ve been operating in stealth mode, quietly infiltrating supermarkets across the U.S, waiting for their day in the sun.

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